Happy Moms Go To HappyTree: Part 3 -  Where Mom’s activities are as important as kids activities in Montreal!

All too often, when our children are born, we have a romantic notion of how well-behaved they will become through the osmosis of our unconditional love. We make a vow to use positive reinforcement only, and to treat their point-of-view with respect from an early age. We understand that if they have a temper tantrum it’s because they are tired or over-stimulated, and not because they are “bad”. We will be “good” parents.

Then one day your kid turns three years old and says her first swear word. What is more shocking than the profanity coming out of your sweetheart’s little mouth is the way she says it: just like you.

Typically for moms, this type of thing can lead anywhere from a pang of guilt, coupled with a stifled chuckle, to the singeing fear of having failed your own exacting standards of parenting. Does this make you a “bad” mom? Or could it simply mean that you were tired or over-stimulated a few times and had your own version of a temper tantrum that included delicious-sounding four-letter words when you thought no one was listening?

We are big kids, and when life gets overwhelming we might not be able to run to mommy, but we can damn well swear, or run over to Starbucks for a grande-triple-shot-extra-whip-mocha, or sneak into the backyard for a cigarette, or have another glass of chardonnay, or pick a fight with the nearest person (usually an unsuspecting husband or partner). When the situation calls for it, we might even need to do all of the above (and buy a new dress we don’t need and can’t afford, to do it in).

Next time the stress gets to you, instead of exacerbating the situation through self-denial or abuse, why not honour your parenting vow of unconditional love and understanding? Listen to yourself and use positive reinforcement only. Accept that what you really need is a babysitter so that you can go to yoga, take a long soak in the tub, and go to bed early.

Take care of yourself, and you’ll set a new example for your mini-me: One of self-respect, personal-boundaries, empathy and love.

HappyTree encourages you to be kind to yourself. Comment on this article and receive a complimentary first class at our studio.